Without A Stroller {For Andrea}

This post is for my dear friend Andrea.

I often describe to her my mommy hood experiences & she insists that I "write about that in my blog." Today I had a hankering for a favorite pesto pasta dish from a Central Austin grocery store & cafe, which happens to be down the street from her super fabulous home. Below describes my 2 & 1/2 hour adventure into Austin; for which I could have never foreseen to be a "normal" day in my life.

This morning I woke up craving a pesto pasta dish from Austin*s popular grocery store & cafe, Central Market. It*s about 25 miles from my house, but I had another errand in the area so Lola Zoe & I would just make a long lunch out of it. Prior to leaving, I went for a jog & came back to slap on a little make up & we were ready to roll. I got Lola Zoe into her car seat, threw my green shopping bags in the back & saw that I*d forgotten to get the stroller out of the hubs car this morning. Eh, I*ll just carry her I thought. She can*t walk yet, but lately she doesn*t want to be held either. Imagine you*re walking around with a 29 pound Labrador puppy & you*re about to toss it into a swimming pool. She*s so excited to get down to the water--or in my case, the pavement--that she licks & paws at your neck & face. Once you reach the water/pavement she does a belly flop & paws & cries to be picked back up. Maybe not a great analogy, but you get the idea.

We arrived at the store/cafe & found a parking spot close by, so it wasn*t a far walk. I figured I didn*t need a shopping cart because once I placed my order, we*d find a table & a highchair for her to sit in. We stood in line & I placed my order at the counter. With my tote bag in one hand & the cloth highchair cover stuffed under my armpit, Lola Zoe occupied my other arm & was quickly sliding down the side of my body. The cashier handed me a vibrating pager & told me my meal would be ready for pick up at the next window when the pager buzzed. I asked in the most un-entitled tone of voice I could, "Would it be possible to have someone bring it out to me?, because I*m afraid I won*t be able to hold her & my tray of food...but I also don*t want to leave her alone at the table when I have to retrieve my food." He furrowed his eyebrows & replied, "Um, you can wait over there & try to grab somebody to help you...Have a great day!" I took my pager, hiked Lola Zoe back up onto my hip, walked over to the utensils bar, grabbed what I needed in my 3 free fingers & we waited. A man standing next to me asked, "Mind passing me a knife?" Really buddy?...The pager buzzed for my food but there was no "someone" to ask for help. I could*ve sold tickets for the balancing act I performed on my way to find a table & highchair. I guess I should*ve asked the "knife" guy. As soon as I got both of us situated, a grunt came from Lola Zoe*s side of the table. I knew what was coming. Poop. Lots of it. But I wasn*t going to allow anything to come between me & my yummy pesto that I had traveled so far for. So I attempted to block out her grunting & let her finish her business-- which lasted the entire meal. Yum.

After we finished lunch, Lola Zoe needed a change & I REALLY had to go to the bathroom. Again, I opted not to place her in a shopping cart because they won*t fit in the restrooms, so back onto my hip she went. We reached the restrooms & I folded down one of those wall mounted changing stations & as I laid her down onto it, there it was. Poop. All on the side of my t-shirt. She had blown out of her diaper. I chanted softly under my breath, "I love being a mom...I love being a mom...I love being a mom..." as I cleaned her up. It made her smile. With one hand on her chest, I stretched over to the sink & tried to clean myself off with the other hand. Now it was my turn to go to the bathroom. The bathroom was empty, so I took the largest stall, let out a heavy sigh, locked the door & had no idea what to do with her once we were inside. I*ve held onto her before, but my arms were already so tired. I improvised & laid out her cloth highchair/shopping cart cover on the disgusting bathroom floor & placed her right in the middle of it. As I sat down on the seat, she immediately crawled off the makeshift mat & in my true germ-o-phobe nature, I sprung off the toilet in hopes to catch her & it caused me to pee all down my leg. You can*t stop the flow when you*re 7 months pregnant. I put her back on my hip & cleaned up what I could & waddled over to the sink.

Whew.

Done.

We were out the door & on our way to grocery shop. I found a shopping cart, placed her in it & around we went. We said "Hi" to the lobsters in the tank, smiled at the ladies that pointed out her cute bow & then we reached the produce section. Everyday is sample day at this place & if you know me, you know I don*t DO samples. It grosses me out. But my guard was down during this hour, as I was already sporting a feces stained shirt & a pee filled sock. I reached for a delicious apple slice to share with Lola Zoe. I took my bite & she took hers. I gave myself an imaginary pat on the back for being so bold & asked the employee what type of apples we were enjoying. I glanced over to Lola Zoe & her face had turned red & there was no more chewing. She was choking on the apple slice. Crap! She quickly recovered as I patted her on the back. We checked out, waved goodbye to the birds in trees in the the parking lot & arrived back at the car.

I opened the driver*s side & turned on the A/C. Then took Lola Zoe out of the shopping cart, strapped her into her car seat, handed her a cup of juice, loaded my groceries in the back, offered my cart to a stranger because I didn*t want to walk 30 feet to return my cart to the corral & abandon Lola Zoe in the car, plopped back in the driver*s seat & put the car in reverse. I checked my mirrors for safety & saw that I hadn*t blended in my white under eye concealer. sigh. Staring back at me were these long streaks of what looked like white lipstick under my eyes. ALL this time I*d been walking around passing strangers, talking to cashiers, employees, old ladies & lobsters, looking like a pregnant aerobics instructor with a hint of Alice Cooper.

I*m helping to keep Austin weird I guess.

I knew the 25 mile ride home was going to be a stinky one, so we rode with the windows down. Lola Zoe sipped her juiced & giggled as I sang along to a Lil' Wayne song.

{Andrea}

A few things would have made this outing a lot smoother but then I would have no post.

1. I could*ve stayed at home for lunch

2. I never should have left that toilet

& 3.

Never eat the samples

I hope this post makes you smile & while the entry may be a good reminder to double up on birth control, I know, YOU know I love being a mom & venturing out on my own. I look forward to swapping more stories like this one with you soon. Love you friend.